God, Sacredness and Commitment

Sept 27

Karen, and I sit down this morning and we start talking about how wonderful it is to have somebody. She said that she told Tom about them not having sex when he comes to Austin. He said, that he kind of understood because in AA they talk about not getting involved in a sexual relationship when you’re recovering.


He is on the right path of thinking. The issue is that when you have sex you are creating bonding that is very powerful. Inside that bonding and intimacy comes neediness. That is usually why we see people involved in addictions, they can not get their neediness to stop. It is like a child calling "mama, mama." So when that moment of unsureness comes up in the new sexual partnership also comes the discomfort associated with the question "who is going to take care of me."


“ THE HOW TO RECOVER TOOLS” are little details that keep you from fall back into addiction. Lets review a few of them. The where am I question? This helps you stop and take inventory of your awareness of your body and note where are you in the body. My head?. Check your ground? This will help you know if you are or not. If not get grounded! Of course there are more and more details... These tools reduce the neediness by just simply acknowledging I am needy and I feel the neediness. They also shift the system so it feels safe again.


Once you have these tools, knowing how to take care of the neediness keeps you on your feet. (Maybe the feet are more important then we think.)


Sex is so, powerful. It is powerful due to its sacredness. When two people make love to each other they are joined with their hearts, tummies and at a deep level of family survival. The need to procreate and keep the genetic pool alive is fulfilled when having sex. Also is the interest to create deep spiritual and emotional bonding. Understanding this helps us take care of the body like an instrument so that it does not get used in a way that could create dysfunction (addiction) . Even when we do know this we will want to still have sex. The sex is grounding and that causes relief and comfort but only temporally if the commitment and spiritual aspect are not set in place.

Thank you for reading , Gary