Sept 27
Karen, and I sit down this morning and we start talking about how wonderful it is to have somebody. She said that she told Tom about them not having sex when he comes to Austin. He said, that he kind of understood because in AA they talk about not getting involved in a sexual relationship when you’re recovering.
He is on the right path of thinking. The issue is that when you have sex you are creating bonding that is very powerful. Inside that bonding and intimacy comes neediness. That is usually why we see people involved in addictions, they can not get their neediness to stop. It is like a child calling "mama, mama." So when that moment of unsureness comes up in the new sexual partnership also comes the discomfort associated with the question "who is going to take care of me."
“ THE HOW TO RECOVER TOOLS” are little details that keep you from fall back into addiction. Lets review a few of them. The where am I question? This helps you stop and take inventory of your awareness of your body and note where are you in the body. My head?. Check your ground? This will help you know if you are or not. If not get grounded! Of course there are more and more details... These tools reduce the neediness by just simply acknowledging I am needy and I feel the neediness. They also shift the system so it feels safe again.
Once you have these tools, knowing how to take care of the neediness keeps you on your feet. (Maybe the feet are more important then we think.)
Sex is so, powerful. It is powerful due to its sacredness. When two people make love to each other they are joined with their hearts, tummies and at a deep level of family survival. The need to procreate and keep the genetic pool alive is fulfilled when having sex. Also is the interest to create deep spiritual and emotional bonding. Understanding this helps us take care of the body like an instrument so that it does not get used in a way that could create dysfunction (addiction) . Even when we do know this we will want to still have sex. The sex is grounding and that causes relief and comfort but only temporally if the commitment and spiritual aspect are not set in place.
Thank you for reading , Gary
Saturday, September 27, 2008
Saturday, September 13, 2008
Shelly Sue and her feet
One day I had this really strong corp. woman come to visit. She wanted to know what was CowboyYoga and could it help her. She was struggling with her team as a leader. After hearing her story it was clear to me that she felt out of control. She went to her power and became aggressive. Her team then felt like they could not trust her. She did not know what to do to regain their trust.
It had been 18 years without a drink. These team pressures made her think about drinking. She had figured how not to touch any kind of drugs. The drugs were out of her life but the same intense feeling inside the heart,and tummy had never left. That unsettled feeling was in engaged. This functioning part of the system which is creating dysfunctional results needs attention . Did you catch that? An part of the software system that is in working mode. We first have to accept what is the system as is…. Study the little details in relationship to the 7 energy centers. Take inventory of what each of those system are doing and not doing.
How can she change?
The old system ran without any or very little grounding. Her system was not bringing the energy through the legs and into the feet. When ever there was a need for more energy (like leading a team) the system also needed more ground. This has to be put in place.
How?
1) Role modeling that creates a supportive experiences.
2) Inner awareness of the system (very similar to inner child work but different)
3) Experience the new information working in relationships (causes cellular memory)
I started off by telling her it was all about her feet. She laughed loud. Then 10 hrs latter she said to me, Whoa I never had any idea that my feet were so important. She now runs her own team with little value for aggressiveness. It’s all about “Whoa”
Thank you for reading the post and please pass it on to all that could use some insight.
Come to farm and experience CowboyYoga! Gary Prince/ The CowboyYoga Guy
Saturday, September 6, 2008
intro: Whoa is important
It was Anne’s 1st day @ work. She had never had a job in 33 years. Now she was home from work.
I came into the house to get some carrots for the horses and at the front steps Anne greets me saying that she is leaving.
I ask where are you going?
Back Home! she says after talking to her Dad, he said I could come home. Oh really, I say and she only nodded her head.
I said, Anne when are you going to become a women? When are you going to grow up and do what you say your going to do? You made a commitment to stay for 14 days and you’re not even at the 4th day.
I can’t sleep and I need a good shower with warm water Anne says.
Bull shit, you’re full of it. What you need is to ability to manage your mind when you’re uncomfortable. You have no idea how to do that do you? read complete story
I came into the house to get some carrots for the horses and at the front steps Anne greets me saying that she is leaving.
I ask where are you going?
Back Home! she says after talking to her Dad, he said I could come home. Oh really, I say and she only nodded her head.
I said, Anne when are you going to become a women? When are you going to grow up and do what you say your going to do? You made a commitment to stay for 14 days and you’re not even at the 4th day.
I can’t sleep and I need a good shower with warm water Anne says.
Bull shit, you’re full of it. What you need is to ability to manage your mind when you’re uncomfortable. You have no idea how to do that do you? read complete story
Whoa is important
It was Anne’s 1st day @ work. She had never had a job in 33 years. Now she was home from work.
I came into the house to get some carrots for the horses and at the front steps Anne greets me saying that she is leaving.
I ask where are you going?
Back Home! she says after talking to her Dad, he said I could come home. Oh really, I say and she only nodded her head.
I said, Anne when are you going to become a women? When are you going to grow up and do what you say your going to do? You made a commitment to stay for 14 days and you’re not even at the 4th day.
I can’t sleep and I need a good shower with warm water Anne says.
Bull shit, you’re full of it. What you need is to ability to manage your mind when you’re uncomfortable. You have no idea how to do that do you?
I am leaving Gary and I still want to work with you if you will have me. Anne says
This is not a team, Anne. You’re on your own making this choice. You’re not asking what I feel or think. It’s what Anne wants, Anne, Anne and Anne. You are self-centered and have no idea about being a part of a team. If you were willing to be a team I would be more willing to think about working with you. I am not sure at this point if there is anything to teach you until self-centeredness is not your only means of operation.
She left, not cleaning her space, not caring about the throw up and the piss that reeked from her messing all over her girlfriends car and the room and bed she stayed in. It was three rough days that we had been all about baby-sitting Annie. We had two goals for her to get up on Monday morning and make it to her first day of work and keep her job and her commitment to staying at the farm for 14 days. Up until this morning she was not functional. Now she was in her car driving off.
At the beginning of Anne coming to the farm we had a talk with her parents and they said they had no money to spend on her treatment. Mind you they both had spent over half a million on her already in treatment centers five of them. They said they were tired of dealing with her choices and spending money to help her get out of trouble. In fact her Father wished that she would be caught drinking and driving and thrown into prison. He thought maybe this would wake her up. I asked them to make a commitment to me that Anne could not go home and they would not help her out with money without coming through me. They both agreed to this but did not hold up to it. They had no ground and either did Anne
How can parents expect their children to hold up their end if they will not hold up their side as parents? This not so little girl was still very little and had no idea about responsibility. So where do you start to teach responsibility? Well getting a job and having some responsibilities is a beginning. Think about it though if you never had responsibilities and you did not want to have them how now after 33 years was she going to be able to pull off being successful with any responsibilities?
Inside of us we need to be able to recognize how to push down our feet and make things happen. We have to use our root system that is under the feet to feel planted enough to follow through. You also have to understand how to energize the root system and keep your self-planted until completion point. We are talking about something that you can not see but is for real. I am not being metaphoric; it is a push down and get rooted like a baseball player sliding into home base.
We also have to learn and help others learn what is it like to find energy to follow through. Is it in the head? No it is not. It is in the heart and that is easy to say but when your stuck and used to doing only what you want to do it can be a hard thing to figure out. Especially if no one has ever taught you were stood next to you helping out. Energy that does not have to do with the self-centered aspect is tapped into due to the awareness of choice and will power. It can be cultivated around the breast area and arms. We can use the breath to support the movement of the heart but the energy comes from the heart space. Most of the time self-centered people only have energy for what makes them feel emotionally excited.
These details are taught while riding a horse. The details again are rooting (grounding), energizing, and use of will power and awareness. Each component happens in four different places in the body. Who would of ever thought? Well, in some ways you have to be able to think but it is all about a feel not a thought. Awareness does start from the head and then moves elsewhere then the head. A friend of my Sylvester Becker is a life coach, and he described CowboyYoga like mortar to the blocks; it is what makes them stick together. Without feeling and awareness it is very hard to engage a new system. It’s hard to change an old operational system. In this case, Anne has been using this system for 30 plus years.
Ground is ground, and your roots, which you cannot see, have to get into the ground for them to work! Now if you’re rolling your eyes or LOL just hold on a min. It is not funny? This is a real thing. You might have been lucky to have worked hard enough in your life that made you had to keep your feet planted. The end result was a job completed. You might have a Grandma that just did not put up with any Bull Shit! If so she role modeled for you what it was to be grounded. But in the case of an addict most of them do not know how to choose there feet naturally and when they get scared guess what? They run to their drug of choice. They’re uncomfortable.
It is not hard to feel your roots even though you cannot see them they are easy to feel. It is even easier to feel the difference between when you do and when you do not have them. Another place that I use the horses. They will tell you if you’re grounded or not.
There is the root of a person’s ability to stop. Stopping is a universal thing. If you do not know how to stop a horse you cannot stop your self from any kind of addition. If you can not stop yourself from saying negative words when you’re angry you will not be able to stop an addition. You might be able to change addictions, but that is way different then stopping the active addictive personality. I see it in lots of AA groups there all sitting around drinking coffee and smoking; two of the worse things you can do if your an addict.
As parents if you cannot stop your child from doing something not so good, them how are you going to stop a horse? Believe me it is not about being able to stop a horse that is so important. It is about seeing, feeling, hearing, and then intellectually connecting all the new information together. That first piece of information is about how powerless you are using the system that is in place at the moment.
Most of the time I am not teaching anything new. I teach information and details that helps people choose to use tools that they might not be using. One of these most common tools is grounding.
If you cannot teach your child, (dog, horse, staff) “Whoa” then most likely you can’t teach your self “Whoa!”.
Whoa! Is so big and so important. Who would of ever thought that such a simple almost only country word would be so important? Well, it is not the word that is important; it is what is behind the true energy of the meaning of the word that is important. It is like the Marlboro Man, that image was real. This was not some guy that came out of the city and we taught him how to ride in a few days and took a shoot. No this was a real person that had roots with depth to them.
I came into the house to get some carrots for the horses and at the front steps Anne greets me saying that she is leaving.
I ask where are you going?
Back Home! she says after talking to her Dad, he said I could come home. Oh really, I say and she only nodded her head.
I said, Anne when are you going to become a women? When are you going to grow up and do what you say your going to do? You made a commitment to stay for 14 days and you’re not even at the 4th day.
I can’t sleep and I need a good shower with warm water Anne says.
Bull shit, you’re full of it. What you need is to ability to manage your mind when you’re uncomfortable. You have no idea how to do that do you?
I am leaving Gary and I still want to work with you if you will have me. Anne says
This is not a team, Anne. You’re on your own making this choice. You’re not asking what I feel or think. It’s what Anne wants, Anne, Anne and Anne. You are self-centered and have no idea about being a part of a team. If you were willing to be a team I would be more willing to think about working with you. I am not sure at this point if there is anything to teach you until self-centeredness is not your only means of operation.
She left, not cleaning her space, not caring about the throw up and the piss that reeked from her messing all over her girlfriends car and the room and bed she stayed in. It was three rough days that we had been all about baby-sitting Annie. We had two goals for her to get up on Monday morning and make it to her first day of work and keep her job and her commitment to staying at the farm for 14 days. Up until this morning she was not functional. Now she was in her car driving off.
At the beginning of Anne coming to the farm we had a talk with her parents and they said they had no money to spend on her treatment. Mind you they both had spent over half a million on her already in treatment centers five of them. They said they were tired of dealing with her choices and spending money to help her get out of trouble. In fact her Father wished that she would be caught drinking and driving and thrown into prison. He thought maybe this would wake her up. I asked them to make a commitment to me that Anne could not go home and they would not help her out with money without coming through me. They both agreed to this but did not hold up to it. They had no ground and either did Anne
How can parents expect their children to hold up their end if they will not hold up their side as parents? This not so little girl was still very little and had no idea about responsibility. So where do you start to teach responsibility? Well getting a job and having some responsibilities is a beginning. Think about it though if you never had responsibilities and you did not want to have them how now after 33 years was she going to be able to pull off being successful with any responsibilities?
Inside of us we need to be able to recognize how to push down our feet and make things happen. We have to use our root system that is under the feet to feel planted enough to follow through. You also have to understand how to energize the root system and keep your self-planted until completion point. We are talking about something that you can not see but is for real. I am not being metaphoric; it is a push down and get rooted like a baseball player sliding into home base.
We also have to learn and help others learn what is it like to find energy to follow through. Is it in the head? No it is not. It is in the heart and that is easy to say but when your stuck and used to doing only what you want to do it can be a hard thing to figure out. Especially if no one has ever taught you were stood next to you helping out. Energy that does not have to do with the self-centered aspect is tapped into due to the awareness of choice and will power. It can be cultivated around the breast area and arms. We can use the breath to support the movement of the heart but the energy comes from the heart space. Most of the time self-centered people only have energy for what makes them feel emotionally excited.
These details are taught while riding a horse. The details again are rooting (grounding), energizing, and use of will power and awareness. Each component happens in four different places in the body. Who would of ever thought? Well, in some ways you have to be able to think but it is all about a feel not a thought. Awareness does start from the head and then moves elsewhere then the head. A friend of my Sylvester Becker is a life coach, and he described CowboyYoga like mortar to the blocks; it is what makes them stick together. Without feeling and awareness it is very hard to engage a new system. It’s hard to change an old operational system. In this case, Anne has been using this system for 30 plus years.
Ground is ground, and your roots, which you cannot see, have to get into the ground for them to work! Now if you’re rolling your eyes or LOL just hold on a min. It is not funny? This is a real thing. You might have been lucky to have worked hard enough in your life that made you had to keep your feet planted. The end result was a job completed. You might have a Grandma that just did not put up with any Bull Shit! If so she role modeled for you what it was to be grounded. But in the case of an addict most of them do not know how to choose there feet naturally and when they get scared guess what? They run to their drug of choice. They’re uncomfortable.
It is not hard to feel your roots even though you cannot see them they are easy to feel. It is even easier to feel the difference between when you do and when you do not have them. Another place that I use the horses. They will tell you if you’re grounded or not.
There is the root of a person’s ability to stop. Stopping is a universal thing. If you do not know how to stop a horse you cannot stop your self from any kind of addition. If you can not stop yourself from saying negative words when you’re angry you will not be able to stop an addition. You might be able to change addictions, but that is way different then stopping the active addictive personality. I see it in lots of AA groups there all sitting around drinking coffee and smoking; two of the worse things you can do if your an addict.
As parents if you cannot stop your child from doing something not so good, them how are you going to stop a horse? Believe me it is not about being able to stop a horse that is so important. It is about seeing, feeling, hearing, and then intellectually connecting all the new information together. That first piece of information is about how powerless you are using the system that is in place at the moment.
Most of the time I am not teaching anything new. I teach information and details that helps people choose to use tools that they might not be using. One of these most common tools is grounding.
If you cannot teach your child, (dog, horse, staff) “Whoa” then most likely you can’t teach your self “Whoa!”.
Whoa! Is so big and so important. Who would of ever thought that such a simple almost only country word would be so important? Well, it is not the word that is important; it is what is behind the true energy of the meaning of the word that is important. It is like the Marlboro Man, that image was real. This was not some guy that came out of the city and we taught him how to ride in a few days and took a shoot. No this was a real person that had roots with depth to them.
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